Things That Have Populated My Weekend

1) Patti Smith-
I'm not a Patti Smith fan. Songs that are ten minutes long and nonsensical aren't my cup of tea, but now I really really love the tragic "Redondo Beach" and the three minute "Free Money". I'll keep that to myself, though. When Patti Smith comes on a mixed CD, you can see your friends secretly judging/being confused about you.


2) Bridget Jones!-

First I watched Bridget Jone's Diary with my friend and we kept saying "Mark Darcy!" in an English accent sporadicly. I am not ashamed to say I love Bridget Jone's Diary. I think I'm a little ashamed that I enjoyed Bridget Jones: Edge Of Reason, which came on TNT last night. The plot is basically Bridget goes to Thailand, eats mushrooms, almost sleeps with Hugh Grant and then accidentally gets stuck in a Thailand prison. It's actually pretty awesome. However, Renee Zellweger gained like, thirty more pounds more than necessary. Also, now she is like a sitcom character.

3) The radio -

Not even internet radio. Real radio. I have to turn it up real loud to hear from across the room while using my typewriter, for if I plug both into the same outlet, one of them will not work. Hmm, is it the fifties?

Things I Recommend

1) Buying Black Tambourine's Complete Recordings
The songs are eerie yet sincere, and most importantly usually less than two minutes long.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=69942677

2) Buying All The Mortified Books and/or thoroughly appreciating their site:
http://www.getmortified.com/

3) Eating Nature's Bounty Chewable Vitamin C:
Delicious!

Awesome, awesome things

1) FAGE yogurt (pronounced Fa-yeh! the package reminds me)
This yogurt reins supreme. It's more than a meal. It's the steak of yogurts. It's REAL yogurt. You'll thank me later.



2) Degrassi Junior High on Netflix -
This is the best show ever - the cheesiness, the life lessons, the hilariously slutty Stephanie Kaye and the colorful styles. I wish I grew up in Canada during the '80s.



3) LOVE - needs no explanation

I Love Muriel's Wedding

It's so funny and sad and sooooo Australian. It came on IFC last night and I was ecstatic.
I think my first time might end up like this:

How ridiculously depressed did her mother going crazy make you? And how ridiculously strange that she and the swimmer start to "not mind having each other around"? I love this movie so much, especially when they call the Porpus Spit girls cocksuckers and take a cab out of there, yelling goodbye to the mall and the tourists and the surfers. Oh my.

Losing An Hour

Last night, there was a request hour on KEXP Seattle (http://kexp.org/playlist/playlist.asp) and it was amazing. The highlights:

Grandaddy, AM 180


Raveonettes, Blitzed


Vampire Weekend, Kids Don't Stand A Chance


Saturday Night Live was on last night. It wasn't that funny, but Amy Adams is really pretty (I'm not that good at judging). I did slightly enjoyed this:



I also realized that I hate those pretentious pompous self-congratulatory Dyson vacuum ads. The handdryer ones are worse:

High School Experiences

Kat Von D. broke up with Orbie and is dating Nikki Six. I hope this is a short ordeal. Orbie is cute and strange whereas Nikki Six is old and gross. Plus, isn't Orbie the one who held her hand during her operation? Also, Pixie is fired. Ick. Bad feelings.
Her myspace, on which she deleted all pictures of Orbie and has a long blog on firing Pixie:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=554683

Current song: "Alala" by Cansei De Ser Sexy

By those people who do that "Music Is My Hot Hot Sex" songs on Apple ads:



This came up on KEXP Seattle online radio the other day and I was singing it all morning. It's a good one.

Now, for the main subject: I went to a highschool dance yesterday. It was really small and pathetic, but I managed to have a good time. Since people complained about strobe light headaches last time, there was not a single source of light. Anyway, this got me thinking about classic highschool dance songs.

1) Apache, Sugarhill Gang

This has to be my favorite, because there is a simple dance attributed to the song. Also, there is spinning involved, so you don't have to see the reactions your peers might have to you getting freaky. Unfortunately, doing this under a strobe light can cause serious vertigo and it is easy to spin yourself out of your group and into random people. When I dance to this, I think I look really cool and awesome. I realize now that I might look like this:



2) What Is Love?, Haddaway

Whether you dance like you're in SNL or at a danceclub in 1996, it's still awesome.

3) Stairway To Heaven, Led Zeppelin

My dad gets pissed that they still play this at the end of every dance, and I admit it is so awkward to sway robotically with a guy you're stuck to for SUCH a long time . When the guitar solo comes in, no one knows what to do. Even after all this trouble with this song, it still feels wrong if the dance doesn't end with it.

4) Cha Cha Slide-

I am a master at this dance. It tells you exactly what to do and I love to see how low I can go. Can I go all the way to flo? Can I bring it to the top, like I'm never gonna stop?
Not only this, I can maneuver my jumping, turning, and sliding so that I can "accidentally" end up by the guy of my choice. Last night, he was four people ahead of me and three people to the right. Halfway in, I was beside him.



Don't pretend like whenever everyone claps their hands, you don't feel absolute joy.

I Guess This Has Become A Daily Thing

Things that matter today:

1) Feeling far inferior to this thirteen-year-old:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/07/sports/othersports/07swim.html?ref=othersports

2) Skinny jeans:


I love skinny jeans.
I used to hate them because I couldn't get them over my ankles (I have huge calves, disproportionate to the rest of my body), but I found these dark denim stretch ones with a big gold button and now I love 'em. I'm wearing them today, and even though I'm sick and put no effort into what I look like, I look fierce. And that is the beauty of skinny jeans.

3) L.A. Ink-


What about that pirate? Will Musink become a success (rhetorical question, since it happened in the summer)? Is Pixie fired? If so, why? What's her problem? So many questions.

4) L.E.S. Artistes-



Hmm, no relation to the meaning of the song, but I love when people puke day-glo, so I give this five stars.

5) Edible Arrangments -


I hope my friends and family know that I'm totally down for edible arrangements.

This Won't Become A Daily Thing, I Swear

Things revolving in my head over the last twenty-four hours:

1) I'm ridiculously sick. Still! And I would normally hold my nose shut and gulp down a cup of Airborne, but they're being sued for $22.3 million because they don't prevent or cure anything:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=87937907

I could get my $6.99 back, but I just don't want to put that much effort into it.

2) Project Runway-

Christian won. Bigggg surprisssee. Not that I'm jaded, his collection was FIERCE, but it's so predictable!!!!!!!!


He and guest judge Victoria Beckham were totally IN LOVE with each other. They should have their own t.v. show called "MAJORLY FIERCE!".

3) Transgender on Tyra-

I watched a lot of T.V. last night. I don't know if this was a new episode or not, but there was this transgender girl who was totally convincing! I didn't know she used to be a guy until like a minute in when they were talking about it. She was really pretty! And she was engaged and could legally get married and they were going to adopt a kid. I'm like, WOH.



4) Totally messed up Cheetos ads -


Seriously, you guys - stop freaking me the fuck out:



That isn't the freaky ad I saw last night, which I can't find on youtube. It had like the cheetah involuntarily hugging a person and was like "Join the orange underground!" I was like, blow your rape whistle! If that was just a dream I had, comment me. Anyway, it is freaky. If you actually go to the website, there's this totally messed up video that's not for the weak of heart. I had to press the back button as fast as I could, because ever since I saw "Halloweentown" on the Disney channel when I was little, I'm afraid that if I watch something creepy for more than a minute, it's the devil and he's going to suck me into the depths hell. I can't even watch a Marilyn Manson video, it's that bad. Anyway, if you wanna know what I'm talking about:

http://www.orangeunderground.com/

They even have their own blog on Blogger.com! Why are you doing this to me??????

http://theorangeunderground.blogspot.com/

A Blog About Blogging

I've always wanted to start a blog. I'm sick today and have a lot of time on my hands, so why not? Everyone has a blog, even my mother. I must BLOG.

1) I don't really care if anyone reads my blog. I'll just pretend its really popular.

2) I won't blog about a certain subject (like pretzels throughout the ages). Just whatever subject I want to blog about.

3) I blog NOW!

Things that concern me this week:

1) Diablo Cody -
Why does everyone have such a problem with her? And by everyone, I mean the author of that "Quotey" script:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/diablo-cody-screenplay.php

and Best Week Ever:



And Best Week Ever again:

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/02/21/icymi-diablo-codys-secrets-to-the-screen-trade/

And SNL:



Is it because she makes up words? Because everyone makes up words. Is it because she was a stripper? Is it because they're jealous? I can't fathom all this hatred!

2) Ellen Page -
Is she a lesbian? I must know!

3) Life Without Buildings - "New Town "(preferably the live at Australia one)
The only youtube existence I could find was a montage of skateboarding, but it's all good:



4) Sneezing

5) Sleeping

6) Chocolate - NUTELLA! CHOCOLATE SOYMILK! MUFFIN!